I WILL KNOW JUST AS I AM KNOWN

"For whatever else the religious life may be, it is the fountain of self-knowledge and disillusion, the safest form of psychoanalysis." -- C.S. Lewis

I was being interviewed by a Associate Producer of a current affairs television show. They are doing a program about euthanasia and wanted me to talk about about my experiences with suffering throughout many years with aggressive and degenerative multiple sclerosis. During the course of our discussion she asked if I have received counselling. Yes, I have been counselled but not in the way she thinks. There is excellent psychological help and I highly recommend grieving people utilize such services when required.  I have not sought help from the psychological profession. Perhaps I should have.  

Christ has been my constant companion, the Holy Spirit my counsellor through the fire of MS. As odd as it seems to even write this, Christ's presence with me throught the past 27-plus years has been at the most intimate interior level. Serious and permanent illness has the unfortunate impact of isolating the sufferer.  The suffering experienced is inexpressible which intensifies the isolation.

At my deepest point of grief Christ has comforted me through the presence of the Holy Spirit and turned my sense of increasing isolation into a sacred exile. That sacred exile has transformed isolation from man  into intimacy with Christ. 

In Thomas a Kempis's Christian Classic The Imitation of Christ, he wrote:

"Sometimes it is to our advantage to endure misfortunes and adversities, for they make us enter into our inner selves and acknowledge that we are in a place of exile and that we ought not to rely on anything in this world."

And so it is. My interior self has taken on dimensions that have revealed what it is to live an examined life. I don't always like it but there it is.  A reporter (not the one mentioned above) asked what role my faith has played in coping with chronic illness. It is central!  

It has revealed that love involves risk and loss. The pain I experience now is part of the joy I will experience when I stand before Christ. I will know just as I am known. At last I will see clearly and will understand the Why of suffering. (See Romans 8.18-21, 1 Corinthians 13.12, 2Corinthians 4.7-16 & 1John 3.2, cf. 1 Peter 1.6-7.)

 Mark