Monday, May 20, 2013

A CHILD AND A TORNADO TAUGHT ME ABOUT TRUST

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19.14) Small children have taught me some of my greatest spiritual lessons -- particularly in areas of trust, accepting God at His Word. C.S. Lewis once commented that small children have pure and momentous spiritual experiences as any undergone later in life. He was right. From our own childhoods we know this to be true.

This past year I was diagnosed with cancer. My five year old granddaughter prayed for me with such intensity. It was touching and meant a great deal to me to know her prayers to God preceded me as I underwent treatment. Later I told her how important her prayers were. She seemed to think I was stated the obvious. After all, she took my predicament to God and He answered her prayers. Isn't that why we pray, Grandpa?" Her simple faith shamed me. I should not have been surprised, her dad is my son.

When he was eight years old, the second deadliest tornado in Canadian history churned past us in a destructive path that claimed 29 lives near Edmonton on July 31st 1987. As we watched the vortex coming in its unpredictable zig-zag course, my son looked up at me and asked, "Are we going to die, dad?" I always kept a policy of being honest with my children (that's what I expected from them). I responded by saying "I don't know." My little boy said the most profound thing: "If we're going to die, can we die in God's house?" We looked at each other in a moment that stood still: I said, "That is a great place to die."

We went to the church and waited for whatever was going to happened. The storm passed leaving a terrible swath of destruction and death along the east end of Edmonton, but the church was unharmed.

My wife's mother (Grandma Dorothy) was visiting a teenage mother and her new baby at a trailer park when the tornado struck; it sent the trailer end over end -- killing the teen mother. Dorothy briefly lost consciousness. When she awoke under a mountain of debris -- that had  a mobile home and few seconds earlier -- she was miraculously holding the crying but unharmed infant.  The trailer park looked like a war zone.

(I know, I know. Dorothy and a tornado sounds a little like The Wizard of Oz.) Be that as it may, the story is true. On the 20th anniversary of the Edmonton tornado, the local news media brought Dorothy and the grown up "baby" together for photographs and a story of survival.

Dorothy lives in a nursing home now, the young woman probably has her own children. My son is married and has a family.  Life goes on.

Occasionally I think of July 31st 1987, and remember how a eight year old boy taught me a lesson about trusting God in the threat of death.  Christ's words ring true: "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

I always feel closer to God when I am in the presence of small children.

Mark

Thursday, May 9, 2013

MUSLIMS ARE PERSECUTING CHRISTIANS !

Jesus said, "Indeed, an hour is coming when those who kill you will think that by doing so they are offering worship to God. And they do this because they have not known the Father or me. But I have said these things to you so that when their hour comes you may remember that I told you about them." (John 16:1-4)

I have been hearing about Christians being persecuted and killed by Muslims in areas like Somalia, Egypt, Nigeria, India and Iran ... and I think of these words of Christ. (Although incomplete, for more of a list see http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Pages/ChristianAttacks.htm 

Christians are the most persecuted religious group in the world. We in North America must not think we are immune. 

By comparison, the petty attacks by liberal media and entertainment elite or, in Canada, provincial and federal human rights inquisitions, are nothing.

Christians should not be surprised when their time of persecution comes. As Christ himself said: "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ...Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." (John 15.18 and 20.)


Regardless of our circumstances, we must keep our eyes on Christ and our hearts open to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and never deny Him: rejoice and be glad, great is your reward in heaven.

 
 
 
Fellow Christians, keep our brothers and sisters in Christ in your prayers.
 
Mark

Thursday, May 2, 2013

THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE WORLD

Kermit Gosnell
The complementary blog to this one is http://humanlifematters.org. If you go to it you will find a posting entitled, “ABORTIONIST DR. KERMIT GOSNELL’S BARBARITY IS NOT UNIQUE”. It chronicles the murders of infants born alive after botched abortions; they were then killed by Kermit Gosnell, or his staff, at his Philadelphia clinic which specialized in 2nd and 3rd trimester abortions. The wickedness is beyond comprehension!

During my 30 years of pro-Life work, I have heard of other abortionists commiting similar atrocities. But then, all abortion is atrocious. Someone once asked me how I can keep up my spirits for Life issues in the midst of a culture that tolerates this sort of outrage or the increasing acceptance of euthanasia and assisted suicide? Despite the darkness around me, I still can see light, beauty and human goodness.

The ancient Roman orator and philosopher, Cicero (106 B.C-43 B.C.) once said "While there is life, there is hope". Without life, hope dies. I choose to hope in life and the Giver of life. All else is meaningless to me now.

Yes, there is ugliness and darkness in the world, but there is also beauty and Light all around us that every life is entitled to experience and enjoy.




"Through him (Christ) all things were made; without him nothing was made that was made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." (John 1.3-5.).

There is great beauty in the world. Click the image below and see.

Mark






 
 

Sunday, April 28, 2013

GOD WILL WIPE AWAY EVERY TEAR


The second reading for the April 21st Mass was from the 7th chapter of Revelation.

In John’s divine vision, he sees a great multitude of martyrs dressed in white standing before the throne of the Lamb [Christ]. John tells us they are martyrs who come out of the great ordeal. Some translations use the word distress or tribulation rather than ordeal.  A great tribulation was being experienced by the Church in John’s day (see Acts 2.10 and Acts 14.22).  It refers, in part, to “the time of trial that is going to come to the whole world” (Revelation 3.10) Some biblical scholars believe it also applies to the great tribulation predicted by Daniel 12.1., and mentioned by Christ in Matthew 24.21.

At any rate, in John’s divine vision there is a great throng of saints before the throne of the Lamb.  They worship God continually. Their robes are washed in the blood of the Lamb and made white.  We read:


“They will hunger no more, and thirst no more; the sun will not strike them, nor any scorching heat; for the Lamb at the centre of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe every tear from their eyes.”






Christ will lead those who followed him in this life. The reference to shelter and water reminds me of the beloved 23rd Psalm.

It has comforted multitudes of believers throughout the ages. In the midst of tribulations, suffering, tears and sorrow troubled people have found comfort in this Psalm. It provides a spiritual shelter from the trials of earthly life, as though resting beside quiet waters.  I like to imagine the metaphor is akin to the water of life mentioned in the reading where Christ himself will take you and me.

The imagery is other-worldly. We are limited in our spiritual understanding. The Apostle Paul spoke of this in his immortal Chapter on love (1 Corinthians 13): “At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially, then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.”

Despite the indistinctness of our spiritual vision (the mirror is so clouded) we are assured that with Christ we will know. Our unanswerable questions that break out hearts in the here and now will finally be answered and we shall understand why our hearts needed to break. 

There will be no more deprivation or suffering, the scorching fire of incurable and chronic disease will cease. Our tears will be wiped away by God.

The dark nights of my life in this world will pass away. The dawn and promise of the next world will be forever.  The full joy of what I will be is yet to be revealed and no one will be able to take my joy from me.  This gives me courage to carry on toward the Celestial City.   

The Third reading of the Mass touched on the continuing promise of Christ that begins in this world and meets its completion in heaven for those who love and know him.

Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me.” He told us that what God has given to Him is greater than all else. Christ and the Father are one.  Christ said he will give his sheep eternal life and it will never be taken away.  We will be finally be whole, we shall be fully conformed to his image; our joy will be complete and permanent.


The Mass spoke so eloquently to me of those things that give the hope that lies deep within me despite disease, disability and sickness. In the responsorial psalm we sang in unison: “We are his people; the sheep of his pasture.” My heart soared.

And then, as in every Mass, came the blessed  Eucharist ─ “the source and summit of the Christian life.” I was reminded again of our Lord’s words: “He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” (John 6.54) Here is the great promise of the cross that God gives to humanity. By faith in his Son and what He did at Calvary on our behalf, our sins are washed away. Like the great multitude of martyrs in St. John’s vision, the spiritual robes of our lives can be washed in the blood of the Lamb and made white as snow.

Mark

Saturday, April 20, 2013

THE COMFORTER COMFORTS, THE COUNSELLOR COUNSELS

Saying goodbye to a grandson
Some Goodbyes hurt so much. My heart aches to be separated from my family. For instance, when my grandchildren come to visit, my heart soars with delight, ... but when they leave I am filled with a deep sadness.

I've heard some grandparents jokingly quip: "It's good to see the grand kids come but it's good to see them go too." I'm not one of those grandparents. I'm always sad to be separated from my grandchildren. My heart yearns to be with them but I know that cannot be. They have their lives to live somewhere else.

Between visits, I go about my daily life but there is always a vague longing, a subtle sense that something someone is missing. As my wife has often said, "Love is the source of life's greatest ecstasies but also life's greatest agonies." And so it is.

The horrible alternative is to live without love and that would be intolerable. People have actually died for lack of love. Their death certificates should have said, "Cause of death: unloved."

I have never suffered from being unloved. I've been loved my whole life -- first by God beginning the night I was conceived (cf. Psalm 139.13-16), then by loving Christian parents, and later I have loved and been loved by my wife and children.

Children grew up and moved away and I missed them. They got married and had their own children, and that's as it should be. Then this grandfather's heartstrings connected with grandchildren -- the bonds of love deepen with each passing day. When they go away I long to see them again. When they are with me I adore the ground their feet stand on. 

But the fear of another goodbye lurks somewhere within me. And then they do leave and the heartache begins anew. At the end of that sad day I say my evening prayers and get into bed. His presence comforts me. Yes, Christ is with me. 

In the 14th Chapter of John Christ says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me." (verse 1) and a few verses later, He says "I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you." And so He does.

The Comforter comforts, the Counsellor counsels (John 14.16-17).

Mark

 
 

Friday, April 12, 2013

THE NATIONAL CATHOLIC REPORTER, CAPITAL PUNISHMENT AND "BUNDLES OF CELLS"


The U.S based National Catholic Reporter recently published a commentary under the title “Status of abortion, death penalty in Catholic teaching makes little sense.” Really? Why would a  Catholic newspaper publish this Op-Ed piece? It was written by Presbyterian Bill Tammeus who took issue with the Catholic Church and its position against abortion in comparison to its opposition to the death penalty.


Bill Tammeus
Mr. Tammeus said, “In the case of prisoners on death row, we have human beings who have been around for years, having proved viable outside the womb .... By contrast, in the matter of abortion, we have a bundle of cells that may one day be born.” He goes on to assert that learned people “disagree on the question of whether and when those cells constitute a legally protected person.”

Catholic teaching recognizes society’s right to impose the death penalty in extreme cases for its own protection. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “... the traditional teaching of the Church has acknowledged as well-founded the right and duty of legitimate public authority to punish malefactors by means of penalties commensurate with the gravity of the crime, not excluding, in cases of extreme gravity, the death penalty.” (2266) Having acknowledged this, the Catechism then states its preference for bloodless means of punishment for the common good of society and “conformity to the dignity of the human person.” (2267)

On the matter of abortion, Bill Tammeus shows a woeful ignorance of embryology. A “bundle of cells”? Again, why would a Catholic newspaper publish such uninformed drivel? Does Bill Tammeus not know that biology and medicine proved long ago that prenatal life is a separate human being? After reading this Tammeus’ commentary, I contacted the renowned American molecular biologist Dr. Dianne Irving of Bethesda, Maryland. She said:

Dr. Dianne Irving
The human embryo/fetus at any stage of prenatal development is an organism, an already existing human being -- not a mere “bunch of cells”. Bill Tammeus is obviously grossly ignorant of the long-known objective scientific facts of human embryology. It has been internationally acknowledged for over a hundred years that in sexual reproduction the new human being begins to exist as a single-cell organism at the beginning of the process of fertilization.”

The Catholic Church has opposed abortion since the first century. This has not changed and remains unchangeable (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2271); I doubt that will change because of an ill-informed Presbyterian.

The simple fact is that the Catholic Church does not hold a hierarchy of human rights or worthiness.  This is different from the truth that not all moral issues are equal. During the 2004 U.S. Presidential election, then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger wrote a memorandum to American Cardinal McCarrick of Washington DC, under the heading  “Worthiness to Receive Holy communion: General Principles”. In that correspondence, Cardinal Ratzinger dealt with these issues. He said, in part:

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger
“... The Church teaches that abortion or euthanasia is a grave sin. The Encyclical Letter Evangelium Vitae, with reference to judicial decisions or civil laws that authorize or promote abortion or euthanasia, states that there is a “grave and clear obligation to oppose them ... .”

Cardinal Ratzinger’s memorandum later stated:

“Not all moral issues have the same moral weight as abortion and euthanasia. For example, if a Catholic were to be at odds with the Holy Father on the application of capital punishment or on the decision to wage war, he would not for that reason be considered unworthy to present himself to receive Holy Communion.”

“There may be,” he declared, “a legitimate diversity of opinion even among Catholics about waging war and applying the death penalty, but not, however, with regard to abortion and euthanasia.”

When it comes to capital punishment and abortion, only abortion is inherently wrong because it destroyed innocent life.

On the matter of justice, I understand there are individuals who are so damaged and dangerous that they must be removed from society. Perhaps they are so damaged they cannot be restored (barring a dramatic healing touch from Christ). Still, the Church believes in the inherent dignity of every human person as a bearer of God’s image. There is no human offence so vile that it lies outside God’s mercy, but neither is there any unborn child so insignificant that it is unworthy of love, life and protection.  We must never dehumanize others by our words or deeds.

No life is just a “bundle of cells”.  No man sinks beneath his humanity because of his criminal deeds.  As followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to show love and concern for them – just as Christ showed love and concern for us.


Mark

 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

I AM MORE THAN MY DISABILITY

Mark Davis Pickup
In early March of this year I was invited by the Catholic Organization for Life and Family (a ministry of the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops) to speak to a seminar they hosted in Canada's capital city of Ottawa, Ontario. The topic they gave to me was "I am More Than My Handicap". I must acknowledge that some readers may find the use of the word handicap offensive. It was certainly not meant to be: Keep in mind that the organizers of the conference were French and the word has a different context for them. You will notice that I used the word "handicap" and "disability" interchangeably for that reason.

My speaking notes from that presentation are below. The presentation concluded with part of a Leonard Cohen song Anthem. I only quote the Lyrics below. Was the address well received? It must have been. The audience responded with a standing ovation. Continue reading. -- Mark
 ___________________________________________

"I AM MORE THAN MY DISABILITY"
 
I am more than my disability. That’s what I was asked to speak about. Before I begin I would like to clarify that everyone is more than their circumstances, whether they know it or not.  I should tell you something: Music is a huge part of my life and you will notice that I make a few references to music. It can be a therapy of its own.

People are more than their physical state or their professions or vocations. You are somebody’s son or daughter. You may be somebody’s brother or sister, somebody’s parent or grandparent. You are a citizen, a neighbor. All of these aspects of your life − combined together with your life experiences – help define and balance who you are. If one aspect or role is too dominant the others may suffer. For example, you may know someone who is workaholic and neglects his spouse and children. 

CAT'S IN THE THE CRADLE 

I remember a hit song from 1974 Cat’s In The Cradle, by Harry Chapin. It told the story of a young man who was too busy with work and had no time for his son. His son grew up to be a young man who did not have time for his old father.  People my age will remember it. We’ve all known men like that.  

If you are a Christian, your relationship with Christ should be at the center of who you are and should govern and colour how you behave in every other part of your life, or it should. 

I am more than my disability. My disability is only one reality of my life but it does not (must not) define me. I have to be more than my disability or it could overtake and consume me.  For nearly half of my life I have lived with degenerative multiple sclerosis (MS).  When I was diagnosed at the age of thirty, I was healthy, athletic and active in family life with a wife and two small children.  I had a promising government career.   

Until the MS came, I lived a privileged life beginning at birth. As a young adult, accomplishments came easy and I foolishly believed I was a winner.  

Unfortunately I let my life get out of balance.  There was a little too much pride in what I could accomplish.  

Dad/daughter moment 1979
By the age of 27 I was Director of Community Services for two Alberta municipalities before moving to the federal civil service. I expected to be rewarded with an equally rapid advancement there.  In retrospect, I heard Yes too often and not enough Nos. That was not good. I developed a sense of entitlement and the expectation of getting what I wanted in life. At the age of 30 I learned the hard way that winners can become losers overnight. 

In March of 1984 I was diagnosed with MS. My prospects for upward mobility stopped as my health concerns became serious. Mobility became an issue very quickly; I was also affected by a profound fatigue that curtailed my professional and home life.  In those early days with my disease, it took a course that is often referred to as exacerbating-remitting.  It was extremely volatile: Violent attacks would come, taking away function (the use of a leg or both, the use of a hand, visual or hearing impairments, the loss of speech) then remit and return most but not all the previous physical function.

The right side of my body was primarily affected. There was no guarantee I would get lost function back – and I knew it.  This is why I said my disease and disability could have overtaken and consumed me. 

After being as healthy as a horse for 30 years, it was a terrible shock to develop a serious chronic and degenerative disease. At about the two-three year point with MS I was devastated by the catastrophe that threatened to engulf me.  My sorrow was so deep, my heartache so sharp, my internal soul-pain so pervasive that it began to skew my perceptions of my own humanity and self-identity. And so despair of my circumstances began to set in.
 
Had I not been surrounded by loved-ones who held up my value (even when I doubted it) ... I might have considered suicide (assisted or otherwise). 

I was not accustomed to being stared at in malls or grocery stores. I was not accustomed to having people avoid me.  Like another old song says, it’s not that old friends were unkind, just hard to find. They stayed away in droves.  I suppose seeing me spastic or in a wheelchair, or using canes made former friends uncomfortable. Perhaps it reminded them of their mortality or how uncertain life can be. To keep their friendship with me would highlight their own inner fears and prejudices. 

INCLUSION/EXCLUSION

Perhaps they were afraid that my new uncomfortable reality might challenge their established and comfortable reality ─ a reality to which I was previously a part of and then found myself outside their reality and so I was shut out of their world.  I discovered that I was unwelcome by their avoidance of me; previous warm friendships turned cool and politely aloof.  Groups where I had previously been welcome quietly closed their doors, leaving me on the outside. I was no longer one of the boys. In his brilliant and penetrating essay entitled The Inner Ring, C.S. Lewis wrote about the human desire to “belong” to certain social groups and the terror of being excluded from them. He described the rings of groups in society like skins of an onion. We may at any point be included in or excluded from a social ring, or about to pierce through to a desired ring or in the process of being thrown out of one.  Lewis said:
C.S. Lewis

“I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside.” 

The desire to be part of a society of people may not necessarily be for the snobbery of high life.  A man may desire to be part of a particular grungy artistic côterie or some intellectual clique.  It’s  one of those parts of life people rarely speak about – particularly when they are trying to get into a new group − when they are still one of “them” rather than one of “us”.  

Do you know what I am talking about? It’s a social system that is not written down but drives human motivations. I would think that in this very room some of you are trying to get into a professional or social circle of friends or you are a power broker within a group of people or, too your horror, are being  pushed out of a group.  As Lewis said, there can be a terror of being left outside of a desired ring. To be excluded from all social Rings of acceptance can be unthinkable.  

But that is the reality for many people with severe physical or mental disabilities.  The more severe the disability the more severe the social isolation. It is my opinion that the most isolating of disabilities is schizophrenia: People with schizophrenia are at the bottom of the heap in society. 

Gaining acceptance into social groups was a skill I acquired early and put to good use in early adult work life, as I said previously. I could gain the trust and ears of those who wielded the real power and was able to ingratiate myself and make myself indispensable. This was an important tool to my career and the raw ambition that propelled my early advancement. Of course this wasn’t something one openly talked about, it just was.  
DOORS THAT QUIETLY CLOSED


After my diagnosis with a degenerative and incurable disease

dramatic episodes with disability shocked my social and professional rings of people; doors quietly closed and did not reopen. Intimate discussions huddled with like-minded people ceased.  The warm reassuring winks, nods and subtle smiles of acknowledgement about some esoteric point of understanding, agreement and approval disappeared and were replaced by blank stares or worse:  expressions of pity! And as I just alluded to, intimate human relationships of friends grew cool and eventually went cold.  It all happened with the greatest of politeness and aplomb but there was no mistaking it: I went from warmth of “us” to cold shock and dismay of being with “them”.


I cannot express in words the horrible shock of becoming an outsider of personal and professional relationships.  What I can tell you that of all the friends my wife LaRee and I had prior to the MS not one remained after.   

I wondered what God what trying to tell me? My prayers for deliverance from the MS were not met with assurances ― certainly not what I thought would come my way or hoped for: God’s responses to my bewildered prayers were met with answers like this:

  • If sickness and disability can be used to make me more like Christ, is that okay?
  • If I am more useful in a wheelchair as a witness for God, can I live with that?
  • If God can use my disability to reach people who might not otherwise be reached, is that okay?  

Well, to be honest with you, it was not okay but very soon God began to show me how I could serve him even sick. Let me give you an example: Prior to developing MS, I was involved in a prison ministry. I remember going to a provincial jail every month to speak to the prisoners about Christ. They sat resentful and surly, arms crossed, eyes rolling. Many came simply to get away from their cells. The expressions on their face told me what they were probably thinking.

It’s easy for you to praise God with your life. You’re going to leave this prison and go home to ticky-tacky middle class house and a pretty wife. You’re probably going to sit in front of a warm fireplace tonight and read stories to your cute little kids. It’s easy to praise God when you’ve got all that. I get to go back to a jail cell. 

They were right. It was easy to praise Christ when I had everything going my way. After the MS came I kept going back to the jail ministry. The prisoners would see me stumbling or barely able to walk or in a wheelchair, I could and did say to the prisoners: I have a sentence that’s longer than your sentence (being a provincial prison the maximum sentence would not exceed 2 years). My sentence is the rest of my life and my prison is my own body. Let me tell now that God is still worth praising! They sat up and listened. 
My disease became so violent and unpredictable that I had to eventually stop that ministry.

A HEART THAT NEEDED TO BREAK 

In 1991, I was forced into medical retirement from the Public Service and slipped into a clinical depression. (It’s not easy to be put out to pasture at the age of 38 years.) I would sit at my kitchen table and watch the Monday to Friday commuters on the road behind my yard driving to and from work (I live in a bedroom community outside Edmonton, Alberta). It was the same routine of which I was previous a part.  Happily for me, my depression was treated with some effective medications.  But more than medicine, I knew God was leading me through an internal desert. He was leading me into a time of solitude and quietude.  He wanted to talk to me, to lead and teach and correct me.  

Fulton Sheen said:
Fulton Sheen

“... the human heart is isolated and in agony: it has more love to give than any earth-bound object can receive – it clamours to be loved more lastingly and comprehendingly than by any human lover. But both longings – to love perfectly, and be loved perfectly – are mere vacuums in man.”
 
Ego is a supreme contradiction of love.  My ego was so large that God needed to subdue it if I was be able to clearly sense His Being and be sensitive to His leading and discover the purpose and meaning of my life. My illusions of self-sufficiency needed to be shattered because it kept me from divine intimacy that was dependent upon God’s sufficiency and grace. 

My heart needed to break in order for me to understand why I could not love perfectly or accept God’s perfect love.  I needed to be stirred and shaken to the foundations of my soul with nothing left but a broken heart.  For so much of humanity it is in brokenness that we can begin to seek wholeness.  Have you ever noticed that many of God’s truths seem to be wrapped in apparent contradictions or paradox?

·         In life we find life and in death we find life.
·         In weakness we find strength. In our strength we find weakness.
·         Many who are first here will be last in the kingdom of God; those who are last here will be first there.
·         In self-sufficiency we find defeat, but only in defeat can we begin to truly understand the depths of God’s sufficiency. 

In silence we can hear God. I needed to be reduced to physical, emotional and spiritual collapse for only in that state did I sincerely and finally ask “Why was I born? What is the purpose of my life? What is the meaning of my existence?”  

LOVE COMES LIKE A REFUGEE

I am reminded of the words of a song by Leonard Cohen:

Leonard Cohen
"...  every heart to love will come, but like a refugee. Ring the bells still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” (Anthem)

We can use our pain to encourage others who suffer. 

One day I got a call asking me if I would visit another young man named Derek who had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Let me give you a bit of background about Derek. This guy was a winner. He had nicely finished a degree in engineering and his career was beginning to take off with a large Calgary oil corporation. 

Derek and his wife were jet-setter professionals. They drove a flashy BMW, skied Lake Louise on winter weekends and vacationed in Maui.  His MS was catastrophic from the onset. His vision became severely impaired and he landed up in a wheelchair very early after onset. I met him about ten months later. He was living alone in a darken apartment. His wife had left him, and his career was gone. I sat with him and listened to his grief. He allowed me special entrance into his sorrow. I was able to say to Derek, “God is with us at this moment. You may not believe that but I tell you I can feel His presence. Let the Holy Spirit comfort you as I have experienced His comfort.” Derek was too angry to accept my witness but as the old saying goes: “You may not be the last link in the chain toward a person’s conversion ─ just don’t be the missing link. 

“Every heart to love will come, but like a refugee.” We must open our love to divine love. 


I have discovered that I have been more use to God disabled than it was when I was able-bodied. Before I was hurt my heart was closed to all but the most basic spiritual principles. It was only when sorrow cracked and broke my heart that Christ’s light came in. 

NATURAL HUMAN DIGNITY

My journey through chronic illness and disability involved a re-discovery of the natural human dignity that is the possession of every human life beginning at the spark of life we call conception. It has nothing to do with our circumstances. 

An individual with a severe disability or incurable illness must ultimately turn to the spiritual aspect of life (in as much is cognitively possible) – if they are to discovery meaning of their anguish. It involves seriously internalizing the source of human dignity – that which sets humans apart from the rest of creation. It begs the question: If there is a creation, then there must be a Creator. And there is. 

The Bible begins with the creation account. In the very first Chapter of Genesis we read:

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness;  So God created man  in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1.26a & 27)

It sounds like creation was not a solitary act. God speaks in plural, leaving for later revelation of the trinity (cf. Genesis 11.7 & Matthew 28.19). God in His majesty said “Let us make man in Our image.” Who is us”?:  The pre-incarnate Christ. We are told in first Chapter of the book of John:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was  with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God.  All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” (John 1.1-5.)

Humanity is not defined by knowledge or power. We do not get our worth and value by what we can do, our abilities or sentience; it comes from merely being.

For those of us who are severely disabled ― and are able to seek the revelation of God’s divine love ― we must be open to letting God use our pain, anguish and trials as a vehicle to spiritually mature us and transform us to be more like Christ.  

This is important because, as this transformation begins to change us, we will discover our natural human dignity if we remain open to Christ’s leading. 

It was important for me to resist the temptation to become bitter, not focus on my predicament, and simply surrender again to that divine love of Christ.

Grief is like a river that can block the sufferer from continuing his individual life journey. It is imperative to cross the river of grieve and discover what is on the other shore. After the initial shock passes it becomes critically important to actively and intentionally rebuild one’s life and incorporate the new reality into the future. 

The individual must develop a new self-identity that includes his disability or condition ─  and his loved-ones must encourage this process and accept the new person and how he perceives himself.  But the individual’s new reality should not be focused on his disability.  This transition phase is uncertain and even dangerous.
UNRESOLVED GRIEF

Some people refuse to rise above their circumstances and cross their river of grief to face a new reality.  They want their old life back or they want no life. They are unwilling to cross their river of grief and they can become suicidal. Unresolved grief in people with disabilities (and their loved-ones) can fuel calls for euthanasia and assisted suicide.  

This is an important fact for everyone concerned to understand ─ particularly in the current climate where euthanasia and assisted suicide acceptance is creeping into North America’s mindset. Understand that unresolved grief must be proactively addressed.  It must be addressed as an issue that extends well beyond people with disabilities and their families: Their communities must acknowledge that settling unresolved grief is critically important for the sake of the community’s greater good.  

Playing a supportive role at local parish levels to those overwhelmed by persistent grief is a necessary ingredient to help hurting people eventually return to active parish and community life.   

NEW DIMENSIONS

For me, the bridge across my river of grief was the Cross. Christ was not merely waiting on the other side of my river of grief: He’s been with me throughout every leg of my disability journey. He continues to help me re-define and re-develop my life; Christ is helping me understand where, how and why I fit into the world with my new and evolving realities. 

Disability journeys often involve developing new dimensions of self-identity that are different from a previous self-identity but no less vital ─ and perhaps even more vital as each individual discovers new aspects of their living experiences.  Granted these new dimensions of life can involve pain but pain may be necessary for our spiritual development. 

The Catholic Church teaches this: 

“The human body shares in the dignity of “the image of God”: it is a human body precisely because it is animated by a spiritual soul, and it is the whole human person that is intended to become, in the body of Christ, a temple of the Spirit.” (CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, No. 364.) 

This is a reality that does not change with disability or sickness. The human body will always share in the sacred dignity of bearing God’s image, regardless of its brokenness or state. The human soul always remains intact and waits for new dimensions of the living experience to be revealed that were previously unknown and unexplored by us or those who love us. An atrophied and unresponsive body is still a temple of the Spirit.
 
All I have is cracked and broken. I have no perfect offering to give God. Strangely yet wonderfully that was when His love became most evident. There is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.  

Yes, I am more than my handicap. We are all so much more than whatever handicap hampers us from reaching the potential God intends for us. It is only when we surrender our broken bodies, hearts and lives to the living Christ that we will begin to see new spiritual dimensions blossom within us and the body of Christ.
 
Thank you and God bless.